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(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Probably the most powerful income-reducing agent known. 2) Element Name: MANIUM Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180 /- 50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape easily. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged period of time. "No electronic signatures authorized." What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man? Why does it take one million sperm to fertilise one egg? A man walks into a bar with an alligator on a leash. Crotch like a clown's pocket Voluptuous.................... God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. ----- Another Version: How to shower like a woman Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according tolights and darks. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs. The result: Drink: Beer Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass. Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing? She noted that women customarily walked about 10 paces behind their husbands She returned to Kabul recently and observed that the men now walked several paces behind their wives. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and said, "This is marvelous. _________________________________________________________ BOY : May I hold your hand?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : Say you love me! BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.. He says "the wedding rings look too much like miniature handcuffs....." ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man smart woman = romance Smart man dumb woman = affair Dumb man smart woman = marriage Dumb man dumb woman = pregnancy OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss smart employee = profit Smart boss dumb employee = production Dumb boss smart employee = promotion Dumb boss dumb employee = overtime SHOPPING MATH A man will pay for a

(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Probably the most powerful income-reducing agent known. 2) Element Name: MANIUM Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180 /- 50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape easily. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged period of time. "No electronic signatures authorized." What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man? Why does it take one million sperm to fertilise one egg? A man walks into a bar with an alligator on a leash. Crotch like a clown's pocket Voluptuous.................... God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. ----- Another Version: How to shower like a woman Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according tolights and darks. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs. The result: Drink: Beer Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass. Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing? She noted that women customarily walked about 10 paces behind their husbands She returned to Kabul recently and observed that the men now walked several paces behind their wives. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and said, "This is marvelous. _________________________________________________________ BOY : May I hold your hand?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : Say you love me! BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.. He says "the wedding rings look too much like miniature handcuffs....." ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man smart woman = romance Smart man dumb woman = affair Dumb man smart woman = marriage Dumb man dumb woman = pregnancy OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss smart employee = profit Smart boss dumb employee = production Dumb boss smart employee = promotion Dumb boss dumb employee = overtime SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. A: Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey. A: Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first. A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. A: Not usually, but occasionally you'll find a floozy. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul several years before the Afghan conflict. _________________________________________________________ GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? " ------------------------------------------------------------------- Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married. and you're a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! If you think that hickey looks like a blister You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

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(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Probably the most powerful income-reducing agent known. 2) Element Name: MANIUM Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180 /- 50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape easily. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged period of time. "No electronic signatures authorized." What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man? Why does it take one million sperm to fertilise one egg? A man walks into a bar with an alligator on a leash. Crotch like a clown's pocket Voluptuous.................... God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. ----- Another Version: How to shower like a woman Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according tolights and darks. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs. The result: Drink: Beer Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass. Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing? She noted that women customarily walked about 10 paces behind their husbands She returned to Kabul recently and observed that the men now walked several paces behind their wives. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and said, "This is marvelous. _________________________________________________________ BOY : May I hold your hand?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : Say you love me! BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.. He says "the wedding rings look too much like miniature handcuffs....." ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man smart woman = romance Smart man dumb woman = affair Dumb man smart woman = marriage Dumb man dumb woman = pregnancy OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss smart employee = profit Smart boss dumb employee = production Dumb boss smart employee = promotion Dumb boss dumb employee = overtime SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. A: Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey. A: Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first. A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. A: Not usually, but occasionally you'll find a floozy. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul several years before the Afghan conflict. _________________________________________________________ GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? " ------------------------------------------------------------------- Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married. and you're a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! If you think that hickey looks like a blister You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

item he needs. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. A: Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey. A: Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first. A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. A: Not usually, but occasionally you'll find a floozy. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul several years before the Afghan conflict. _________________________________________________________ GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? " ------------------------------------------------------------------- Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married. and you're a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! If you think that hickey looks like a blister You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

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When a man volunteers to do the 'BBQ' the following chain of events are usually put into motion. 2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. Q: What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model? Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. " "Those are for the funeral." An elderly couple was driving across the country. The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say? I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around am. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over Nothing". Young women go hungry and bleed to death every time there's a natural disaster.

3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drink in hand. 5) The woman goes inside to set the table and checks the vegetables. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him). Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth? While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare. (SOFT SIGH): Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. An older woman always carries a condom in her purse.

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph ased, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95? "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, and Ken's furniture A woman is driving on the road & A man is driving in the opposite direction, on that same road & When they pass each other, the woman rolls down her window and shouts - HORSE Immediately the man shouts back - Bitch ! Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just because he loves u that much to quit it. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? * Anonymous ------------------------------------------------------------------- Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

They were singing "Happy Birthday" And there I sat, on the couch, naked!!! A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. " In a condescending manner, she said, "Which Barbie? ONE, He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. * Scottish Proverb ------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't worry about terrorism. * Sam Kinison ------------------------------------------------------------------- A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. Mencken ------------------------------------------------------------------- Marriage is a three ring circus: * engagement ring ---wedding ring ---suffering ------------------------------------------------------------------- When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.

8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer. Go ahead and make an offer but no more than $415,000." "This is turning out to be a great day! I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent lover! An older woman will tell you that you are an XXXXXXX if you're acting like one.

9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. Can't wait to see you later tonight to celebrate!!! I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when I was called in. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. If you act immature enough and hang around long enough, an older woman will just mistake you for another one of her children and let you live at her house rent-free. An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married.

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable". She went into the bedroom &, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children & dozens of friends. A woman will pay

9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. Can't wait to see you later tonight to celebrate!!! I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when I was called in. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. If you act immature enough and hang around long enough, an older woman will just mistake you for another one of her children and let you live at her house rent-free. An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married. After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable". She went into the bedroom &, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children & dozens of friends. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. He drove to the mall, ran to the toy store, and said to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window? How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? * Oscar Wilde ------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. We didn't go where we normally go-we went out into the country to a little private place. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful l day. "I said, "No, I guess not." She said, Let's go to my apartment". A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does. Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are cowards. They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. " The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck." A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use (on the average) only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. NOTHING: This means something and you should be on your toes. Not belonging to either of those categories, the man asked if there were any other kinds of men she liked to date. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car. " Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. " Wife says, "No officer, Only when he's drunk." The Answer Man(Woman) Tackles Pregnancy: Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs? DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!! SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT! WANTED A tall well-built woman with good reputation, who can cook frogs legs, who appreciates a good fuc- schia garden, classic music and tal- king without getting too serious. After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. '' There was an elderly man at home, upstairs, dying in bed. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. She thought for a moment and then said Southern men, because they're so gentlemanly. A: Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all. A: Yes, but the baby would be awfully funny looking. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole judgement she deems appropriate.

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9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. Can't wait to see you later tonight to celebrate!!! I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when I was called in. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. If you act immature enough and hang around long enough, an older woman will just mistake you for another one of her children and let you live at her house rent-free. An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married.

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable". She went into the bedroom &, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children & dozens of friends. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. He drove to the mall, ran to the toy store, and said to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window? How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? * Oscar Wilde ------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. We didn't go where we normally go-we went out into the country to a little private place. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful l day. "I said, "No, I guess not." She said, Let's go to my apartment". A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does. Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are cowards. They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. " The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck." A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use (on the average) only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. NOTHING: This means something and you should be on your toes. Not belonging to either of those categories, the man asked if there were any other kinds of men she liked to date. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car. " Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. " Wife says, "No officer, Only when he's drunk." The Answer Man(Woman) Tackles Pregnancy: Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs? DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument.

The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!! SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT! WANTED A tall well-built woman with good reputation, who can cook frogs legs, who appreciates a good fuc- schia garden, classic music and tal- king without getting too serious. After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. '' There was an elderly man at home, upstairs, dying in bed. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. She thought for a moment and then said Southern men, because they're so gentlemanly. A: Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all. A: Yes, but the baby would be awfully funny looking. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole judgement she deems appropriate.

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9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. Can't wait to see you later tonight to celebrate!!! I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when I was called in. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. If you act immature enough and hang around long enough, an older woman will just mistake you for another one of her children and let you live at her house rent-free. An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married.

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable". She went into the bedroom &, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children & dozens of friends. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. He drove to the mall, ran to the toy store, and said to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window? How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? * Oscar Wilde ------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. We didn't go where we normally go-we went out into the country to a little private place. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful l day. "I said, "No, I guess not." She said, Let's go to my apartment". A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does. Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are cowards. They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. " The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck." A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use (on the average) only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. NOTHING: This means something and you should be on your toes. Not belonging to either of those categories, the man asked if there were any other kinds of men she liked to date. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car. " Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. " Wife says, "No officer, Only when he's drunk." The Answer Man(Woman) Tackles Pregnancy: Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs? DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument.

for a item that she doesn't want. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. He drove to the mall, ran to the toy store, and said to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window? How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? * Oscar Wilde ------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. We didn't go where we normally go-we went out into the country to a little private place. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful l day. "I said, "No, I guess not." She said, Let's go to my apartment". A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does. Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are cowards. They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. " The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck." A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use (on the average) only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. NOTHING: This means something and you should be on your toes. Not belonging to either of those categories, the man asked if there were any other kinds of men she liked to date. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car. " Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. " Wife says, "No officer, Only when he's drunk." The Answer Man(Woman) Tackles Pregnancy: Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs? DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument.

The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!! SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT! WANTED A tall well-built woman with good reputation, who can cook frogs legs, who appreciates a good fuc- schia garden, classic music and tal- king without getting too serious. After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. '' There was an elderly man at home, upstairs, dying in bed. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. She thought for a moment and then said Southern men, because they're so gentlemanly. A: Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all. A: Yes, but the baby would be awfully funny looking. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole judgement she deems appropriate.

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