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Underneath the main photo, the user’s current job and the college they attended are listed.Many rattle off a bulleted list of interests that, you guessed it, include craft beer/whiskey, hiking and other general outdoor activities, setting goals and hitting them, and commitment.

While Tinder has a wide variety of people who want to fuck you, and seemingly never runs out of profiles, Bumble delivers fewer, yet way more drool-worthy pics.

We started to plan our wedding to the Zak Efron lookalike that we matched with a couple swipes back, but realized that we should probably make a move and say hello first.

their advertised goal of creating lasting connections is bullshit. but you’d think an app so set on matching you with Prince Charming, or Malia Obama once she’s 18, would want to help you vet out your options.

It’s nothing more than Tinder for really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking people with no sense of humor. Bumble doesn’t want to admit that it is a shallow, game-like, dating app that judges users on a ‘would you have sex with this person? It should be entertaining, but instead leaves us to question our life decisions while we finish off that large Domino’s pizza. Shouldn’t you be able to scope that oil baron’s urethra before you start choosing appropriate nuptial place settings for your destination wedding? Instead, Bumble’s picture-messaging feature, similar to Snapchat, blurs the photo until your finger is pressed and held to the screen.

Thus, with marriage on the mind, One Good Love’s billboard not only fits in perfectly with the relationship goals emerging in the LGBT community, but also presents the gayest version of love—not “gay” in the pejorative sense, but gay as in the traditional sense—gay as in happy, gay as in joyful, and gay as in fully accepting.

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"Scrubs need not apply" is a common warning on these profiles.

Our goal of not being furiously hung over on Sunday morning just doesn’t impress in this world of Jay Gatsbys.

We just about acquired carpal tunnel from the continuous right swipe motion; everyone on the damn thing is a generic stock photo of attractiveness.

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