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[An animated anthropomorphic Sarsaparilla root appears on the screen against a black background, and starts talking] Roddy Root: Hey, kids, I'm Roddy Root, and there are some things you should know about Lime Liftoff before buying it!
Roddy Root: Did you know that the Citrox Corporation gets its ingredients through slavery?
If an individual drinks both SCP-1863-A and SCP-1863-B within a 89 hour period, an anomalous chemical reaction will occur between the hydrogen and carbon dioxide in the two drinks, causing the digestive system to inflate [DATA EXPUNGED].
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Item #: SCP-1863 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: Individuals affected by SCP-1863-A are to be separated from individuals affected by SCP-1863-B.
Both subgroups are to be kept at Site-28 for study, and are not to be made aware of the other party, and are to be given access to either SCP-1863-A or SCP-1863-B, dependent on their subgroup, to ensure their continued survival.
There's gonna be a transcription of that on Citrox's website come tonight, without any audio errors. [Roddy Root is seen sitting behind a desk, looking sober and drinking from a bottle of SCP-1863-B] Roddy Root: Hey, kids. Recently, something bad has happened in this little Argentinean town of [REDACTED]. It's time to enter Citrox's In the course of our friendly corporate rivalry with Carl's Caffeine Club, several allegations have been brought up against Citrox, and we need your help to disprove them! Write an essay about Lime Liftoff and how it's changed your life for the better. For every 20 fliers you pass out, or every 10 free samples, you gain a raffle ticket to be put in the raffle, up to 10. Go out and smash some bottles of Sarsaparilla Cream!
A bunch of kids recently mixed Lime Liftoff with good old Sarsaparilla Cream [Roddy Root indicates the bottle] and then drank it, with tragic results. For every broken Sarsaparilla Cream bottle you send back to Citrox corporate headquarters, you automatically gain a raffle ticket! Grand Prize winners will receive a lifetime supply of Lime Liftoff, and all sorts of great official swag, plus a Playstation 3 and Games! [Scene cuts to a live-action shot of the pond in front of the [REDACTED] Public Library; five people are walking past, drinking from bottles of SCP-1863-A.
[Roddy Root stands up and angrily points his finger at the audience] Children, it is your duty as citizens of this proud country to go out and destroy every bottle of Lime Liftoff you can find. As for the filthy Limey Drinkers who have already had it, [The backdrop turns into what is believed to be an amalgam of the Argentinian Flag and an American one] Roddy Root: Now go! [A Text Crawl appears across the screen] [Roddy Root appears, dressed in a stereotypical American General's uniform] Roddy Root: Heya Kids! You all know by now that if you drink enough of our Sarsaparilla Cream, you don't need to breathe anymore! All of the individuals are dressed in a manner that suggests financial and social well-being.
The entire scene is filmed in black and white; Roddy Root continues to speak in a voiceover] Roddy Root: Take this pond, right in front of the library!
SCP-1863-A and SCP-1863-B are both highly addictive, despite having identical composition to equivalent non-anomalous soft drinks.
Both SCP-1863-A and SCP-1863-B are capable of reacting to specific phrases, mainly praises or criticisms of the specific qualities of the SCP-1863 instance, such as flavor, chemical content, appearance, etc.
The male individual subdues and then kills two other drinkers, with the remaining two inflating and attempting to escape via flight] Roddy Root: Because they had the element of Surprise, Jessie and Billy were able to eliminate three of the targets! [The remaining two SCP-1863-A drinkers are shot in the stomachs, causing them to fall to the ground and deflate; analysis of the film shows that the shots most likely came from the roof of the library] Roddy Root: Good thing that Jacob was on the roof with his Carl's Caffeine Club Rifle, which he won from the Caffeinated Terror contest!
Now, kids, how about you all take a nice, refreshing drink of Sarsaparilla Cream?
Praising the respective SCP-1863 variety while condemning the competing variety appears to dampen the addictive effect.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating