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." On November 20, 2005 Harris gave a message to the church at which he is Senior Pastor, titled "Courtship, Schmourtship: What Really Matters in Relationships." In this message Harris acknowledged problems with how the singles related in his church.

Harris indicated that there was a "lack of freeness between men and women in cultivating friendships." He also used the words "standoffish" and "tightness." In the message, Harris also indicated that it was "OK" for single men and women to go out for coffee by themselves, apparently correcting misconceptions some singles had in his church.

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I Kissed Dating Goodbye is a 1997 book by Joshua Harris.

He feels that people date to find "their" mate according to their own principles, rules, and desires.

In doing so, he argues, people put up a façade in an attempt to appear to be what the other person wants, and this hampers the "getting to know you" part of dating.

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