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Now this post might upset some, and if as a result I’m grabbed by a group of angry Dutch women, and am taken to my own personal hell, the drie dwaze dagen sale at de Bijenkorf, and am forced to carry their bags while they scream at me “IK ZEG SKINNY JEANS, DIT IS EEN BOOTCUT JIJ IDIOOT.” I’ll say to my enemies, “no need to be so aggressive, I was just telling it like it is.”The things I do for my readers!

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As an expat, you’ll get away with standing up to them, and using a little humor always goes down well. If you’re from London, and a Dutch woman tells you the name of what she says is THE coolest club in the city, don’t politely point out to her that the place she’s referring to has been closed down for several years, and is in fact used as an old peoples home. Dutch women, are used to dating Dutch men, whose deep and passionate love of money is legendary.

A key thing I’ve learned about Dutch women is that they’re always right. I was watching the Dutch news earlier this week where an entire town will be without gas for the next few days.

What you need to know is that as an expat, if you stand your ground in face of the ugg booted onslaught, that Dutch women will forgive you and may even find your self-confidence attractive.

From Dutch men they expect total acquiescence, and the ability to follow orders.

When you have a full book of stamps (this will cost 49 euros) Albert Heijn will give you 52 euros cash.

This is a higher interest rate than you’ll receive from any bank.

Would you like to build on a strong clean foundation as friends first and see where it leads?

Meet guys that are seeking the benefit of a doubt from a lady.

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The Shallow Man has even started a counselling group called ‘Dutch women survivors’ for expat men who have been shot down in flames when attempting to approach Dutch women.

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