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(Such phones are most likely found near the elevator.

I was standing on the of a five-star hotel, locked out of my room, naked as the day I was born. Once again, once the door snaps shut behind him, he’s left with at least a little something to cover himself with.

I would have to go to reception and ask them to let me back in. But as the indicator approached my floor, I panicked. For me to go striding manfully across it, trying to fix the sniggering receptionist squarely in the eye, with my “largesse universal” swinging in the breeze, was not only unthinkable, but probably a criminal offence. Some versions conclude in a wonderful fashion — they have the nude man attempt to climb a tree to regain access to his home via an open window.

When the elevator doors opened, he was greeted by leaving a function.

Though nudes are remarkably common in hotel settings (where doors are engineered to snap shut), they are far less likely in other venues, particularly private homes.

Whereas a hotel has every reason to assume thoughtless guests will, if left to their own devices, leave the doors to their rooms hanging open, home owners have far more reason to trust their domicile’s inhabitants.

Locking doors are therefore not engineered to snap shut behind the departed.

) use anything to cover their modesty; net curtains, tablecloths or even plant pots.

Some hotels keep dressing gowns at reception or in the service cupboard on each floor for such eventualities.

“David,” I said, after a while, “I’m in a bit of a pickle.” He collapsed, laughing uncontrollably, and I ran into his room asking whether he had clothes I could borrow. I sauntered down to reception with a new-found confidence, and demurely asked to be let back into my room.

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